No thank you

Five year old grandson Andrew was watching NASA videos about Mars exploration on his mother's Android pad. At the end of one video he said, "I have to go to the bathroom."
"May I watch a video while you are gone?" I asked.
"No thank you," he said politely as he walked away.

TSA

At airport security the first TSA screener who looked and acted like an East German boarder guard was intimidating as she slowly examined our IDs under black light.

A nearby agent looked at Lois's necklace said, "I always wanted to get my wife a necklace like that. Couldn't afford it."

His partner said to me with a smile, "I'll bet you had to use a gun to get that."

They then waved us through, and we were relieved to have made it past the first centurions.

Firecracker Gun

 In the summer of '53 I remember the thrill of firing off a firecracker gun that I had made from 3 feet of 3/4" black pipe with a pipe cap screwed onto the end that I had threaded. I inserted a marble and a large firecracker in the breach with the fuse going through a hole dirilled in the cap. We fired it at a half inch sheet of plywood from twenty feet, and were amazed when it tore through the plywood and hit a garage a block away. It would be more difficult to repeat that science experiment today.

Handsome

When I walk in the cafe at dawn, I wear a baseball cap because my hair is a fright untill washed and drinking coffe is my highest priority. However, the other day I dressed up for and attended an early meeting and arrived later at the cafe. While Jeff took my order, Martha who sometimes waits on me said, "Geoff...I didn't recognize you without the hat. You are quite handsome."
....Silence....
As Jeff handed me my order she said, "Well...I ah-ah didn't mean that you don't look alright in that hat."

Troubling 24 Hours

The last 24 hours have been difficult. Yesterday, when I arrived with Lois to swim at the Y, I couldn't find my pool shoes. I checked at lost and found; they didn't have my shoes. When we got home, I was missing a ski glove that I knew I had worn on the way into the Y in the extreme cold; I did find my pool shoes.

This morning, I decided to go back to the Y to see if my glove had turned up. I wore an old pair of ski gloves and stopped for coffee first--so I had three gloves when I entered the coffee shop. After leaving the coffee shop I walked into Y and found that I had only two gloves--an old one and my newer one. Jan at the desk brought out a glove from lost and found that matched the newer glove. I now had three gloves. She suggested that perhaps a string with mitten clips that went through my sleeves would be of help.

I stopped by the coffee place, held up my old glove, and Jeff the manager nodded and brought me a matching old glove. I now had four gloves.

When I got home, I put my gloves on the table and was startled to find that I only had three--I was missing an old glove. I went to the garage and found the older glove on the floor. Five hours have now gone by: I have two shoes, and four gloves. I should be embarrassed, but that is just part of being seventy...and I have had a little help from my friends...

The Glass is Half Full

While drinking coffee and reading the paper this morning, I overheard a next-booth cellphone conversation: "The sidestreets here are snowpacked, and the temperature out is twenty-five--and that really sucks."

I hadn't realized that we were in such dire straits. She failed to memtion that: we had received a few inches of much-needed snow; the sun was out; it will be back to fifty in two days; and all the snow will have melted. Guess that didn't match her message.

Thanksgiving Day Thanks

On Thanksgiving Day as I was walking with my granddaughter Genevieve in a Spokane park, I met a man with a lazy left eye who appeared of mid-eastern descent. He introduced himself as "Ali—like in Ali Baba." He said he was from Iraq, where in 2005, he was captured and tortured by an Iraqi militia group.

He told me, "They cut out my eye with a knife--that's why I have a glass eye. They released me after my family paid them a ransom. We escaped to Jordan where I got refugee status from the U.N. That's how I got to the U.S."

He said, "Yesterday, I became a U.S. citizen in a ceremony at the government building. I can now apply for a U.S. passport so I can visit my family in Jordan."

He told me how thankful he was on this Thanksgiving Day.