Monday, April 21, 2014

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Today, from a distance the parked Mercedes appeared to have "Just Married!" painted on the rear window in large colorful letters with lots of filigree; however, as it came into focus it really said, "Just Divorced!"

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Good bye Christie

When I ordered at Panera's yesterday, I asked Nicole if she had heard anything from Christie. Excitedly, she told me, "Her water broke overnight." Great news, I thought—as the petite 22-year-old had grown uncomfortably pregnant, working till last Saturday—just one week before her due date. Everyone just wanted it to be over.
 
When I walked into Panera's early last Saturday morning, Christie had already prepared my regular order (as well as that of Tom the student who had walked in with me), rung up our sales, and from memory keyed in our phone numbers to credit our Panera cards. We asked how she was doing, and she told us she hadn't slept well last night and spent the night eating pineapple—old wives' advice she had heard which would induce delivery.
 
As Tom and I ate our bagels, we were joined by Jeff the Manager and together we lamented the loss of Christie. Jeff told us what we already knew: Christie is a gem of an employee who takes on added responsibility and is always an ambassador for the restaurant. She will not return after her baby is born, because she just graduated with an assistant veterinarian degree and will return home to Springfield, Missouri. Jeff said it will be very difficult to find a replacement with her skills, work ethic and attitude.
 
I just heard that Christie had baby Conner yesterday afternoon. So, on Saturday she ate labor inducing pineapple and came in to work her last day. Sunday night she started labor and gave birth on Monday. That is just what I would expect of Christie.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Long Hair

The woman waiting at the pharmacy held her handsome toddler son somewhat like a sack of potatoes. He had beautiful skin with pink cheeks, an impish grin and very long curly and unruly black hair. I smiled saying, "Now that's some hair."

"Yeah--he's not getting a haircut till his dad comes home."

"Home?"

"In four months he'll be back from Afghanistan."

Friday, February 28, 2014

Promethian Effect

A friend Jeff told me his son Jason was a good bowler; Jason's high school bowling team recently placed fifth in the state meet.

Father and son bowled together last week, and whenever Jason got three spares and/or strikes in a row, he would predict, "Watch this, after three in a row, my next frame is usually open [no spare or strike]."

To combat such a self-fulfilling prophesy, Jeff told his son that for continuous strikes or spares, he would pay a penny for the first frame, t...wo pennies for the next, four for the next, doubling the amount each frame; however, an open frame would earn nothing and reset the next successful frame to a penny. When winnings double down each frame, they increase slowly at first, then grow quickly: If Jason bowled a perfect game of twelve strikes he would receive $45.95.

With that incentive, Jason bowled 269—his highest game ever—with ten strikes, one spare and one open frame. Jeff said the game cost him 46 cents.

When rewards, no matter how small, are added to a game (even the game of life), attitudes change.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Ugly Hat

At Panera's I stood behind an older woman (about my age) who was placing her order. She wore a knit animal-head ski hat. Colored turquoise and fuchsia, it had protruding baby-bear ears with large chartreuse and black eyes over her forehead. At her ears it morphed into two long scarfs which knotted under her chin and ended in fringes below her waist… "Why would anyone wear such a silly and ugly hat?"

Later, I ran into her at the coffee refill place and inquired, "Hey, that's some hat."

"Thanks. I bought it for the special needs kid I care for. He doesn't like it on his head, but loves it on me. That's why I wear it."

Friday, January 17, 2014

Rocky Mountain High

For friends interested in visiting Colorado for a "Rocky Mountain High," the conflicts between local, Colorado and Federal laws are slowly being resolved.
---You won't be able to buy pot in Colorado Springs or El Paso County--except for two approved stores in Manitou Springs.
--- If you fly out of Colorado Springs, you can't bring pot into the airport. If you happen to forget this law when you enter the airport, your options are: 1) take it back to your car, 2) deposit it in an "Amnesty Box," or 3) carry it through security and past snarling, TSA-trained, dope-sniffing dogs--to be arrested on Federal drug-smuggling charges.
---Finally, if you plan to stay with us, we continue to run a no-smoking facility.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Customer Service

I had called up to cancel my subscription, and the clerk said with scripted cadence: "And how are you doing on this fine Wednesday morning sir?"

"Fine." 


"That's great sir. We always enjoy talking to happy clients on a fine Wednesday morning."