An Anniversary: Not to be Forgotten

Sometimes the best times are those that you don't plan for.

We left Iowa City to catch a flight out of Minneapolis the next morning. My wife Lois and I had known that this day would be our thirty-forth wedding anniversary, but we had put off planning for the celebration. We had been immersed in a week-long writing course, having no time to think beyond our next manuscript deadline.

Now, as we drove north thru the Iowa villages, we didn't see much promise for a romantic place to celebrate our special day. Towns and hours passed us by. As we neared the airport, we were down to the last town before suburbia.

We needed help. We stopped at a tavern and walked inside. At the bar were three guys drinking beer, eating quesedillas, and watching the ballgame.

"Hi, guys," I said, "We're looking for a motel."

"There's a Motel 6 up the road about a mile," one motioned.

"Is there anything around here a bit more upscale than that?"

"It's our anniversary," said Lois.

"Well, there is a Comfort Inn on the other side of the highway. You guys know that that Viagra will work just as well at either place?"

We all laughed. "What are some good places to eat around here?"

They made suggestions: the Olive Garden, the Macaroni Grill and a place that sounded like the Charred House. We thanked them and headed for the Comfort Inn.

At the motel, I asked the clerk if she knew about the Charred House. She didn't, but a couple walking by just happened to overhear us. "Do you mean the Chart House? You'll like it -- just up the road."

That decided it for us. We dressed up and headed up the road. The Chart House was build on a marine theme around a lake. There were two wedding parties there, one on the dock next to the lake. Locals packed the joint.

Serendipity! Accidentally, we had found absolutely the best place in the country for our anniversary. We drank fancy drinks, danced and danced to a real band playing real music, chatted with people sitting next to us, ate a great meal, and were surprised when the waitress brought us a complementary -- almost foot high -- baked Alaska with a candle on top.

Thirty-four wonderful years. Under the black light we slowly danced our last dance and then headed for the Comfort Inn.

 

Talking Women

A friend Rich, in his seventies, and his wife visited friends in St. Louis last month. 

They decided to drive to an attraction. Rich drove, accompanied by his wife and her two friends. Rich stopped when he saw the cop lights flashing behind him.

"Did you know you went through a red light?" said the cop.

"No, said Rich. I was distracted trying to find the right turnoff."

"I'll bet that the women were all talking when you were trying to find the turnoff."

"Yes, sir."

The cop walked to the rear window. "I'm going to give all three of you a ticket for distracting the driver." 

Their shock melted away when the cop smiled.

No ticket.

I haven' t been so lucky lately.

 

The Swimsuit

When I picked up my college girl friend, she was wearing a short, short skirt. She looked very attractive, but I didn't like all the guys oogling  her legs. Possessively, I said, "You might as well be wearing a swim suit!"

A month later, we walked over to see a basketball game on a cold Friday night--like ten degrees--this was Montana.  We got to our seats at the game. I helped her take off her long winter coat. There she stood, in the middle of all the fans, in a bright yellow swim suit. More than embarrassed, I frantically tried to cover her up with her coat.

She had to be freezing on the long walk over and back from the fieldhouse--all for a cool joke on me. All the women I have told this story to say that I got what I deserved.