Dear Natalie,
I am sorry that you finally heard the "other shoe drop," after such a long, unsettling and drawn-out process. I am sure that it is a difficult time for you. Here are my thoughts about your situation, after observing many friends (including myself), who have experienced such unpleasantness.
First you must experience all the phases of grieving: surprise, anger, denial, sadness... For this process, a day is too short; a year is too long.
The friends I admire got the event behind them in reasonable time and didn't take it personally. They didn't let the demons of lowered self worth and confidence and the resulting ennui stay in their psyches. They got back up and went on to greater achievements. Most important--they didn't take it personally. Easy to suggest, harder to implement; but the only thing that is rational.
Key for you to focus on the talents and skills that you have always had and have honed: technical expertise, quick learner, quick wit, "take the bull by the horns" attitude, leadership, persistence, "Get Along With Others," excellent communicator, quick thinker under fire... Besides that, you can safely use a flame-thrower to make a hell of a creme brulee. Few are so blessed.
Your skills and contributions are in demand. It is a tough market, but you have the edge. Everyone knows that in your case, they layed-off a valuable employee for reasons that have nothing to do with your excellent performance. They took away your job, but they didn't take away any of your fine attributes.
In Toastmasters, I have two friends that I admire for being successful in tough times. I think you met them both: Barry and Byron.
Barry is the turtle. He wrote his first book a few years ago and collected 275 reject letters before he got it published. He just published his fifth book and may be going to China to lecture on starting successful businesses. Public speaking is not Barry's strongest point; persistence is. When Barry gets a rejection, he just sends out a thousand more inquiries with a self addressed, stamped envelope.
Byron, of course, is a world class speaker. He is the rabbit. After realizing that he was never going to permanently play at baseball's major league level, he decided to be a world class speaker. Shortly after joining our club and hearing about the International Speech Contest, he said that he was going to win the World Championship. He called everyone who had won the International contest and asked them for help. He went to see them. Many of our club evaluations were tough on Byron; he took much to heart and changed. We had a TI champion visit the club one time he and Byron made a pact that Byron would win the TI contest and the champion would help him. In one year, Byron competed at the convention in Connecticut. He didn't win, but probably would have placed if he had spoken seventh or eighth, rather than second.
Last year, Byron didn't even place at the Division level contest. But that doesn't make much difference now. He gave the Key Note speech at the TI convention in Los Vegas. He is in demand as a public speaker. His business card has a testimonial by President Obama on it. He is going to speak at an event in June with Obama. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't call the White House and ask for the president. An upcoming speech is in Africa to four thousand women. When Byron gets a rejection, he picks up the phone and calls the world's best for advice and criticism.
Two approaches to adversity.
Enough. I just want you know that I think about you much and admire you for all of your attributes. Please don't forget them.
Love,
Dad
No comments:
Post a Comment