Warning Sign

As I drive north on I-25 behind a semi-trailer stacked to the sky with crushed cars, I can't read its 18" x 18" sign until I get within 20 feet:

CAUTION!
DO NOT FOLLOW CLOSER THAN 300 FEET.
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BROKEN WINDSHIELDS.

Jimmy John's

Today, Friday at noon, I stalled in Garden of the Gods Boulevard gridlock--fifteen minutes to inch by two blocks. The beat up car ahead of me sported a suction-cup sign on the roof: JIMMY JOHN'S SANDWICHES--FREAKY FAST DELIVERY.

Old Technology

This morning as the old man (about my age) walked by our house, a talk show blared from the 1950's salmon-colored Bakelite-plastic five-transistor radio he held--with its antenna fully extended.

The Minister

Promptly at 7:30 every Saturday morning, at the long table near the fireplace in Panera's, a minister leads five to ten men in a lively Bible study.

When I arrived yesterday for coffee at 6:45, the minister had claimed the table—adding smaller tables at each end. While waiting, he distributed handouts and reviewed his heavily tabbed and marked up Bible.

When 7:30 arrived, the minister sat alone. Twenty minutes later, he picked up his Bible and materials, put the borrowed tables back where he had found them, and left.

The Combination Lock

When the wiry white-haired senior walks into the locker room, he always uses the second locker from the wall, hangs his backpack from the top locker hook, lays out his gym clothes in order, dresses, places his glasses on top of the locker, weighs himself, records his weight in a spiral notebook, puts his glasses back on, slips on his workout gloves and I-pod, drapes a folded white towel over his left shoulder, secures his locker with a combination lock, twists the dial first clockwise, pauses, twists it a full turn counter-clockwise to the number 12 ½--and then leaves for the gym.

Deadheading

Our granddaughter Sarah (7) helped us maintain our out-of-town neighbor's deck flowers. While watering a large barrel covered with faded blooms, she observed, "This needs some serious dead-heading."

Safety First

As the hundred-plus car freight train sped northbound on the overpass, I noticed that those tanker cars tagged with the most dangerous rated hazmat labels (like 4-4-4-USE NO WATER) --were also heavily tagged with impressive ghetto art and gang signs.