Friday, September 20, 2013

Old Technology

This morning as the old man (about my age) walked by our house, a talk show blared from the 1950's salmon-colored Bakelite-plastic five-transistor radio he held--with its antenna fully extended.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Minister

Promptly at 7:30 every Saturday morning, at the long table near the fireplace in Panera's, a minister leads five to ten men in a lively Bible study.

When I arrived yesterday for coffee at 6:45, the minister had claimed the table—adding smaller tables at each end. While waiting, he distributed handouts and reviewed his heavily tabbed and marked up Bible.

When 7:30 arrived, the minister sat alone. Twenty minutes later, he picked up his Bible and materials, put the borrowed tables back where he had found them, and left.

The Combination Lock

When the wiry white-haired senior walks into the locker room, he always uses the second locker from the wall, hangs his backpack from the top locker hook, lays out his gym clothes in order, dresses, places his glasses on top of the locker, weighs himself, records his weight in a spiral notebook, puts his glasses back on, slips on his workout gloves and I-pod, drapes a folded white towel over his left shoulder, secures his locker with a combination lock, twists the dial first clockwise, pauses, twists it a full turn counter-clockwise to the number 12 ½--and then leaves for the gym.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Deadheading

Our granddaughter Sarah (7) helped us maintain our out-of-town neighbor's deck flowers. While watering a large barrel covered with faded blooms, she observed, "This needs some serious dead-heading."

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Safety First

As the hundred-plus car freight train sped northbound on the overpass, I noticed that those tanker cars tagged with the most dangerous rated hazmat labels (like 4-4-4-USE NO WATER) --were also heavily tagged with impressive ghetto art and gang signs.

Friday, August 23, 2013

IKEA Legalease

In the Denver IKEA store, a 3' x 12' sign hangs from the high ceiling:
 
---------------------------------------------------------
ALL BEEF HOT DOG*
50 Cents
[Picture of a 2' x 10' hot dog and bun]

*Not actual size
---------------------------------------------------------
 
 

Friday, August 2, 2013

The Yellow Jackets

When our family vacationed together in Montana, my granddaughters, Sarah and Genevieve who have never met a bug they wouldn't pick up, decided to rescue hundreds of dumb yellow jackets that were drowning in the wading pool. They picked up the near-dead wasps, carried them to dry land, and observed them--as they dried off and flew away. Some yellow jackets were not grateful and both cousins received a couple of stings. Unnerved and wiser, they changed their tactics and handled the bugs with vigilance and special tools. Many yellow jacket lives were saved--so they could pester us later in the evening around the campfire.